Old Friend - New Relationship
I used to know this girl at work. A couple of months after moving to a new state and starting a new job, I met a girl at work who was also new to the area. We would go out on weekends and talked about a lot of things so we became friends.
There came a time when my lease was up and it was awkward because I didn't want to live with her. But how do you tell someone that? I mean we saw each other all day at work and every time we went out, some would say that sounds like we got along so well that we should live together, but to me that sounds like too much. To me, that means I wouldn't get a breather from somebody, no matter how much I liked them. Not to mention that I hadn't known her for very long.
And boy am I glad I stuck with my gut. She turned out to be somewhat jealous, somewhat depressing, somewhat snobby and other times too uptight. Often I found her lecturing me about something. Every guy I spoke to, even if it was just a friend... she felt it wasn't "proper" for me to joke around. But when she spoke with anyone [male], it was okay for her to speak to him in any manner she chose. I didn't understand why everything I did seemed inappropriate and everything she did was acceptable.
She didn't drink alcohol at all, hadn't had a sip in her life. We would go out and I always felt guilty if I had something to drink. She just kind of sucked the fun out of the night.
Then there was a guy that she had a crush on. He was a friend of mine and she hated that he didn't like her in that way. And although my relationship with him was anything but romantic, she hated the fact that I talked with him.
And she had these mood swings, where she'd be really nice and then boom! I'd be "in trouble". She went to an ivy league school and I went to a state university. Of course when she mentioned her spectacular school, I stated that I ended up spending much less money of course... and moreover, we were in the same place, same company, same job. She didn't appreciate this of course.
Well in the end I just stayed away from her and her lectures as much as I could. I ended up switching sites for my company and didn't have to see her on a daily basis anymore so it wasn't too difficult.
I hadn't seen her in a long time until this past weekend. We had lunch together. We've both been busy with our lives, but she's finally dating someone. I was pretty sure that things had changed and just as I had suspected she was much more easygoing. It was so relieving to not have to worry about talking about a relationship, talking about drinking (because her boyfriend drinks), talking about anything really. I think we can be friends again. Maybe not the best of friends, but friends nonetheless. It's amazing how relationships can change people in such a big way and in this case in such a positive way. Why is that so many people are so much more comfortable with their lives when they have a significant other? When did having somebody else become so important, more so than anything else in life?
There came a time when my lease was up and it was awkward because I didn't want to live with her. But how do you tell someone that? I mean we saw each other all day at work and every time we went out, some would say that sounds like we got along so well that we should live together, but to me that sounds like too much. To me, that means I wouldn't get a breather from somebody, no matter how much I liked them. Not to mention that I hadn't known her for very long.
And boy am I glad I stuck with my gut. She turned out to be somewhat jealous, somewhat depressing, somewhat snobby and other times too uptight. Often I found her lecturing me about something. Every guy I spoke to, even if it was just a friend... she felt it wasn't "proper" for me to joke around. But when she spoke with anyone [male], it was okay for her to speak to him in any manner she chose. I didn't understand why everything I did seemed inappropriate and everything she did was acceptable.
She didn't drink alcohol at all, hadn't had a sip in her life. We would go out and I always felt guilty if I had something to drink. She just kind of sucked the fun out of the night.
Then there was a guy that she had a crush on. He was a friend of mine and she hated that he didn't like her in that way. And although my relationship with him was anything but romantic, she hated the fact that I talked with him.
And she had these mood swings, where she'd be really nice and then boom! I'd be "in trouble". She went to an ivy league school and I went to a state university. Of course when she mentioned her spectacular school, I stated that I ended up spending much less money of course... and moreover, we were in the same place, same company, same job. She didn't appreciate this of course.
Well in the end I just stayed away from her and her lectures as much as I could. I ended up switching sites for my company and didn't have to see her on a daily basis anymore so it wasn't too difficult.
I hadn't seen her in a long time until this past weekend. We had lunch together. We've both been busy with our lives, but she's finally dating someone. I was pretty sure that things had changed and just as I had suspected she was much more easygoing. It was so relieving to not have to worry about talking about a relationship, talking about drinking (because her boyfriend drinks), talking about anything really. I think we can be friends again. Maybe not the best of friends, but friends nonetheless. It's amazing how relationships can change people in such a big way and in this case in such a positive way. Why is that so many people are so much more comfortable with their lives when they have a significant other? When did having somebody else become so important, more so than anything else in life?
posted by sakadevi at
12:50 PM
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